Take my car, please

   A review of stolen vehicle reports in Nashville from Sunday, May 6, through Saturday, May 12, shows that 24 percent of the automobiles taken (six of 25) were easy targets because the keys were left inside or made available to thieves.

   The police department’s continuing PARK SMART campaign strongly urges citizens to lock their automobile doors, secure any valuables and REMOVE THE KEYS.

   Officers also urge citizens to SHOP SMART by not leaving purses or other valuables unattended in shopping carts, even for a very short time. An unattended purse is an easy target for a thief.

   For info  about these and other programs of the Nashville Police Department, visit http://www.police.nashville.gov/index.asp.

Case closed

   Have you been acquitted? Have your charges been dropped or dismissed?  Since we featured you when your were busted, we'll be even happier to tell the world that you've been exonerated.

   Update the world (or at least Middle TN) with the status of your case by letting us know so that we can publicize it.

   As far as we know, we are the ONLY crime paper in the country to offer this service.  "Putting a name with the face of crime" is one of our mottoes; another is: "We'll help you save face."

   Email us at caseupdate@justbustednews.com or mail the court paperwork to: UPDATE, P. O. Box 9628, Chattanooga, TN 37412.  

Hate to tell you

   Hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but hate crimes are on the rise in Tennessee. The state’s Bureau of Investigations has issued a report that shows an increase of over 50 percent in hate crimes in 2011. And with summer coming on, the economy spinning its wheels, and the noise swirling around such “hot-button” issues as race, religion and sexual orientation growing ever-more deafening, the number promises to keep rising along with the thermometer.

   What is a hate crime? In Tennessee it’s defined as one in which a person is victimized because of “race, religion, color, disability, sexual orientation, national origin, ancestry or gender.” People charged with such offenses face the possibility of harsher sentences.

   While “hate crime” may be a relatively new term, hate is as old as the hills. We hate what we’re afraid of or don’t understand, and fear and ignorance will never go away. But you’d better wise up enough to watch who you’re hating – or you might have more time in the pokey to think about it.  

Something FREE for your ad

   Advertise in Just Busted's new CLASSIFIED ADS section, JUST BARGAINS.
 
   JUST BARGAINS will feature "deals so good, they're a crime." So put on your dealing cap and come up with a bargain guaranteed to "set people free."

   And speaking of free, with any ad purchase you'll receive a FREE professionally written press release or a FREE custom-written newsletter you can email to your customers and prospects.

   You can cash in your FREE offer at any time.

   Business card-sized (black & white) Classified Ad:  $16.50 per week for six weeks minimum ($99).

   Current Display Ad Prices:

      Quarter page -- $68.25 per week

      Half page -- $135 per week

      Full page -- $240 per week

   All prices are for black & white ads, 13-week contract.  Free ad design included.  For more info, call Paul at 615.516.5678; email paulerland@gmail.com.

   

Just Busting a Gut

   Delivering Just Busted to convenience stores has its rewards, chief among them being the opportunity to meet the comedians in our midst.

   The market owner who, when we show up with his papers, calls out, every single time, "Am I in there this week?" never fails to deliver us a laugh. And when we say, "No, we only have good-looking mugs in here," it keeps the hilarity going.

   The lady who picked up a copy, opened it and said, "Here I is, reading your paper. Does I get a reward?" -- she struck us as too funny.

   "Well, first you'll have to pay a dollar to read it," we told her, and after she did, we said, "Sorry, that's the other paper that does that." We all had a good laugh over that one.

   "You in here this week, George?" says the wag who handles the deli orders. Some people are so quick-witted!

   Once we saw a woman standing in line eating a pork chop. When she got to the counter and as we were putting our papers down she looked at it and sighed, "Mm, mm, mm. People so stupid." We had to chuckle at that.

   "You got the same people in here every week," some store clerks complain. That's what we need -- more criminals! Funny.

   Of course, everyone who plays the lottery amuses us. In the first place, because the lottery is a tax on people who are stupid at math. In the second place, because it's entertaining to speculate about what most people would do if they struck it rich. Buy more junk food? Purchase a whole bunch of lottery tickets? Seeing three or four customers hunched over at a table, scratching at a colorful card, reminds us of kindergarten -- fun times!

   "Hope I'm not in here this week," says the store manager, winking at us. Ha, ha!

   Actually, just about everyone who buys our paper is funny to us. Granted, a dollar doesn't go far these days, but to spend even that for the privilege of checking out the pictures of those who've gotten into trouble -- to gratify what the Germans call schadenfreude, or pleasure in the misfortunes of others -- seems funny, especially seeing as how most readers obviously aspire to something higher for themselves. Like winning the lottery    
 

Song sung blue

Just Busted is now official -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j--_0sIb9DM.


And for those of you not into rap:

The Just Busted Blues

Now, don’t you tell my ma and pa,

No! – don’t you tell my friends;

I started messin’ with the law,

Oh! -- this is how it ends.

  (Chorus)

I got a scowl upon my face –

Right there on the front row;

And how I ever reached that place,

I guess I’ll never know.

  (Chorus)

  

You play with fire and you’ll get burned –

Don’t act the fool, like me;

But one mistake’s a lesson learned,

And shame will set you free!

  (Chorus)

 (Chorus):         Just Busted! They got me by the collar!

                        Just Busted! Read about it for a dollar!

                        Now even though I made the weekly news –

                        I got the disgusted, Just Busted blues!

Spring is "Bust"in out all over

A reader reacts to a new
delivery of Just Busted

   Newspapers are dying--but Just Busted lives! While print publications all over are struggling, our niche newspaper is thriving in more than two dozen markets. Just Busted gratifies people's vicarious pleasure at seeing their friends and relatives behind bars. Readers scour Just Busted in the hopes of finding someone they know, or at least recognize. When we deliver our paper, store employees snatch a copy and delight in picking out their customers.
   Just Busted has gone from being somewhat tasteless and discomfiting in the beginning to now being eagerly anticipated and fully embraced. There are still those store managers who will sniff at it and purse their lips in disapproval, but the customer is always right. Just Busted regularly sells out wherever it is sold. (Check your neighborhood convenience store.)
   Just Busted is your indispensable tool for scoping out the creeps, sociopaths and ne'er-do-wells in your midst, and for only a dollar Just Busted can provide hours of entertainment for anyone who enjoys imagining the story behind every picture.